Those new drive-thru lines that split into two ordering lanes at the end are apparently tricky. I have seen multiple people not sure about how to use them.I’m not comfortable going to that second / outside lane so I’ll stay here and make this less efficient. Do I race to the window after I order? Hey, is that car trying to cut me off? What do you mean take turns? How will they know which lane I ordered from?
However, I’ve never seen anyone drive past all the other cars in line to “cut” into the outside lane. Until yesterday.
I was three cars from ordering, sitting patiently and chatting with the Girl and her BFF about the available smoothie flavors and who wanted which ones when some cray cray lady drove past me and the car in front of me and wedged herself into the outside lane, making her next to order there.
“What the crap is that woman doing? She’s cutting right into the ordering lane. Does she not understand the concept of a line?!” (I was exercising all kinds of verbal restraint with two tweens in the car. I’ve been wanting to try out some of the new expletive phrases I’ve been finding on my Sailor app–you know, when the moment is right. And, was this ever the right time … I wanted to say “Hey! Asschunk!” or “What a Douchewaffle!” or “Listen, Coochmonkey!”… but I didn’t. I was a good girl and kept it G.)
I was peeved. Really annoyed. Assholes piss me off something fierce. It’s alright if you’re just stupid and don’t know, but being an intentional dick is altogether different. That’s what made me think that maybe she actually doesn’t understand how these things work. Maybe she doesn’t even realize that she’s supposed to wait at the end of the entire line and then make her choice about the ordering lane when she gets to it. Maybe she’s not really an asshat. She might just be a knucklehead.
So, after we ordered and she pulled ahead of me, I decided to go say something to let her in on how it’s supposed to work … giving her the benefit of the doubt that she was just stupid.
Here’s how that went down:
Me: (getting out of my car, walking over to hers; a smile on my face–you know, to be friendly) Hi. I wanted to let you know that when you pulled up to get in line to order over there (pointing), you actually cut in line in front of me and another car.
Her: (furrowing her brows and scowling at the crazy lady talking to her at the drive thru) Huh?
Me: (thinking I must have been right, she does seem a bit dim … oh, good, she’s an ignoramus, not a douchecanoe) It’s just that when you use the drive thru line, all the cars wait there in one line (pointing) and then split at the end. When you drove straight up there (pointing again), you cut in line in front of me and another car who had been waiting. (smile)
Her: (giving me a dirty look and rolling her eyes at me) Well, that’s not how I do it.
Me: (Oh, Snap! This here is a straight up bitch, yo! She’s not stupid, she’s a dirtbag!! *Note: apparently at this point I got a little gangsta in my head.) What? Did you say ‘That’s not how I do it’?
Her: (now refusing to make eye contact) That’s not what I do.
Me: (Wow. Seriously. She’s a complete dickass. *Note: I seem to be getting ample opportunities to use that Sailor app after all! Me for the win!) Well, neither one of us is any more special than these other people who seem to have figured out how to use the drive-thru. So, in the future, it would be nice if you waited in the actual line like the rest of us rather than cutting in because that’s just rude.
And then I walked back to the car to wait for our smoothies thinking about how much I like the word Douchewaffle. And Asshat.