When I was nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award recently I had to come up with some tidbits about myself. I thought it would be interesting to see what the Boy and Girl would say if given the opportunity to list a few things about me. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey, I’ve been nominated for a blogging award and I need to come up with seven interesting things about me that I can share. Would you make a list of things about me?
Me: I just told you why. I need to make a list of seven things about myself to include in a post accepting a blogging award. You can write them on paper …
Boy: (blank stare, eye roll)
Me: … or you can text me your list.
Girl: Ooohh, congratulations Mommy!!! That’s awesome!
Me: Thank you. I’m really excited about it.
Girl: Like, what kinds of things are we supposed to write?
Me: You know, just things about me that are interesting. Quirks. Unique traits.
Girl: Do you mean things like ‘you’re an honorary black belt’?
Me: Yes. Stuff like that.
Then I got this text from the Boy:
What a sweet list … and I love that all those mushy characteristics are bookended with my snarky sense of humor. That’s just about right–funny and sassy on the outside with a big mushy middle. And I’m not just talking about my waistline. (Badum tsssshh)
Me: Aw, Bud, that’s really nice. I love this, but what I’m looking for is less of a bunch of attributes and more of a list of things about me. For example, if I were making a list about you I would say “loves cats, wears fun socks, would eat bacon every day if I allowed it …” Stuff like that. Do you understand what I’m looking for?
Boy: Yah. K.
About 20 minutes later I got the list from the Girl. She said it was fun to make. And that she added a few extras so that I’d have plenty to choose from. I should be able to find seven good ones to use. Going above and beyond. Nice work, daughter.
Here’s what I got from the Girl:
1. Honorary black belt. True. Hubbinator, the Boy, the Girl and I took karate classes as a family. They are First Degree Black Belts. I’m an honorary black belt. We were about three years into our training when I hurt my knee in class. Literally the same week that we were to start our Black Belt Candidate’s Class, I was told by my physical therapist that I had injured my ACL and couldn’t do any kind of karate. It was heartbreaking and frustrating to be so close and be told I was done. I still practiced with my clan at home (while seated) to review all of our katas and weapons forms to help them prepare for their test. I kept working on my push ups. It was the one thing I could still do. Our lead instructor had told me that he was going to call me onto the floor at some point during the six-hour test to check them. He wasn’t kidding about it … and I did my 75 push ups. I was proud of my own achievement–as small as it was compared to what my hubby and kids were doing for their test. On the day of the big graduation ceremony, to my complete surprise, our instructors called me up on stage, gave me a certificate, and named me an Honorary Black Belt based on my hard work, continued efforts and training–even while injured. It was a pretty amazing night–seeing my husband and kids mark that incredible achievement for themselves and for me to get to be a small part of that celebration as I had been a part of our journey all together.
2. Took a family tennis class.
3. Had 7 cats over the course of her life.
4. Taught almost every class–including sex ed. This is a little bit of an exaggeration. I have taught a variety of classes–as a long-term substitute outside my field–including Sophomore English, Speech, Theater, Consumer Awareness, Interior Decorating, Relationships (which included Sex Ed), Foods, Family Living and Spanish–which is my “specialty.”
5. Hates Caillou. Amen, sister!!
6. Has 4 siblings.
7. Hates the word “moist.” OMG … I hate that word. Seriously.
8. Doesn’t like the Pennsylvanian pronunciations melk (milk), pellow (pillow), cray-on (crayon … should be pronounced ‘cran’), sell (sale … some words with long vowel sounds are changed to short vowels and it bugs me, a lot), mell (mail … see??!), gum band (rubber band … really?). I would also add “coopin” (coupon … prounounced kew-pon). We joke and make up sentences with as many of these words as possible: ‘Did you get the coopins in the mell for the pellows that are on sell?’
9. Has a brown fleck in her left eye.
10. Blasts music when she cleans. True Story. She hates it when I do that.
11.Her favorite Bath and Body Works smell is Butterfly Flower.
12. Is an awesome braider. French braids, fishtail, cornrows … but I don’t know about “awesome.”
13. Very talented at nail art. Ok. I think she’s just buttering me up so I’ll keep braiding her hair and painting her nails. I don’t do intricate stuff … not like our babysitter used to. She once painted every one of the Girl’s nails with a different aquatic creature. I do things like polka dots.
14. Buys Cottonelle toilet paper. Riveting.
15. Does not like tissue with lotion in them. They feel slimy. Ew.
16. Loves the name Carter. As a matter of fact, the Boy was several hours old before we settled on his name. Hubbinator and I were between Carter and Austin. (News flash: it’s not Carter. And I regret it.) Growing up I was always one of several Jennifers among my peers. I was known as “Jenny S” in grade school to differentiate between “Jenny D” and “Jenny L.” My best friend in high school was a Jenny. It was pretty much a guarantee that there would always be at least one other Jen / Jenny / Jennifer in every one of my classes. I really didn’t want my own kids to have a super popular name because of my experience. I had only known one other Austin my entire life. Hubs and I both liked it and went with it. Literally within a week of bringing the Boy home from the hospital I saw a report on the Today show. They did a piece listing the most popular names of the summer. Mother Clucker!!!!! Number one on the boys’ list: Austin. Sonofabitch! Fast forward nine months … I found out I was prego again. From the second I saw that little line on the stick, I knew that baby would be Carter if I had a boy. She was not a boy. (Thank you, Captain Obvious.) So, I’ve been lobbying the name Carter to every pregnant woman I
17. Had a cat named Jewish. It was a nickname. I come from a family of nickname creators. My Dad is the King Nicknamer. The cat’s name was Jasmine. Which became Jazzy … then it was Jazzy Jew (as part of a song I used to sing to her … #1 on this list of things about me should have been “Is a big dork.”). Then I started calling her My Little Jewish Kitty … and that got shortened to just plain old Jewish. It kind of stuck. Several people called her Jewish regularly–including Hubbinator, the Boy, the Girl and my Seester.
18. Loves fat cats.
19. Is missing one adult tooth. I still have one baby tooth.
20. Favorite TV shows are Modern Family, New Girl and The Mindy Project.
21. Fave movie is Horrible Bosses. I do love that movie but it’s so hard to pick. I love Anchorman, Bridesmaids, Zoolander, Tommy Boy, The Hangover, Christmas Vacation … I’m a comedy kind of girl.
22. <—- Favorite number!
23. Has a tiny piggy toenail.
24. Likes lightbulbs. Huh?
25. Favorite color is blue.
26. Favorite color on her is black. It’s slimming, hello?!
27. Shoe size is a 9 1/2.
28. Is 5′ 3 3/4″ tall. I hope she’s stopping there with the stats … sheesh!
29. Doesn’t like short shorts. Not on me, not on anyone else. If I can see your butt cheeks, you’re not actually dressed.
30. Favorite car is a yellow convertible Mustang.
31. Loathes brightly colored shutters. Again, huh? There was a house in our old neighborhood that had painted shutters–a nearly neon bright blue that was hideous. I know I said they looked awful, but it wasn’t a generalization. It was a very specific set of shutters that was bad.
32. Always wears five jewelry items. Not really. I always wear my engagement ring, wedding ring, and my Papa’s wedding band. So that would be three.
33. Likes even numbers more. OK, it appears that she’s running out of actual things to say.
34. Her daughter likes odd numbers more. Yep, I was right. The well is nearly dry.
35. Won the fifth grade spelling bee. I won in my class in fifth grade and competed in the whole school bee (5th through 8th graders) where I misspelled “nineteen.” I was overzealous with the Es and threw an extra one on the end. N-I-N-E-T-E-E-N-E … The second it was out of my mouth I said “NO!! I didn’t mean that last one!” But it was too late. I was O-U-T. I was in the spelling bee again in eighth grade and I actually won the whole thing. My winning word, after spelling many challenging words was “lettuce.” When the moderator said it I looked at him and said “Lettuce? like, lettuce??” He just said “The word is lettuce.” To be sure it wasn’t a trick, I asked for it in a sentence. Yep, just L-E-T-T-U-C-E.
36. Knee socks make her claustrophobic.
37. Likes long hair on boys.
38. Good with kids of all ages.
39. Had braces for two years (with headgear and double wires). Yes, I got to wear the sexy nighttime headgear. And my teeth were so funky that I had two wires on the top set of braces and two wires on the bottom set. Talk about a metal mouth.
40. Wore rubber bands in every configuration. As if the headgear wasn’t sexy enough, I also was the lucky winner who got to wear rubber bands in every possible configuration, including the awesome box around my front four top and bottom teeth.
Thank you, Girl, for that extensive list of “seven” “interesting” things about me.
Later that evening I got a text from the Boy:
1. Never been rickrolled. Being “rickrolled” means that you click on a link to go see something and you don’t end up where you thought you were going. You end up here. (Go ahead, click it.)
2. Hates the word “moist.” I have made this clear … obviously.
3. One of the few parents who makes their kid obey the rating system in video games. It’s true. I’m a mean mom. Poor, poor kids of mine.
4. Likes Jeff Dunham. Clarification: He likes Jeff Dunham (a comedic ventriloquist). The Boy has showed me several of his videos and we have been watching them lately when I lie in bed with him at night to “tuck him in.” Jeff Dunham is funny, but mostly what I like is spending time with my Boy.
Me: I got your text with the four things about me. Thanks.
Boy: Yah. How many did you say you needed?
Boy: Eh, close enough.
So, if I were to make a list of seven things about my kids I think I would start with “likes to do things his / her own way.”